My friends think I never play in the ocean. They must not learn my secret.
My imagination grew at the same rate as my body. This was a blessing and a curse.
Know thyne enemy
Words with Friends should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie?
A Christian woman is bashing yoga pants for being too sexy
I know you all hate the Patriots, but you should love Tom Brady
It would appear that the Koreans are unimpressed by my AirBnB ad
Not just for Harry anymore
We’ve not gotten any of your emails. Fail.
I’m as guilty of judging external appearances as anyone, but I still think you should present yourself however you’d like
Their names make no sense. But, as always, I have a plan…
I believe it’s my destiny to rid the world of this curse
A brief explanation of global oil economics and how it affects The Bachelor
A frat boy challenged Gaston to a push-up contest. You have no idea how happy this makes me.
A legend’s death made me appreciate something I usually hate
Announcing a month of marginally increased responsibility