I’ve fallen in love with something I hate. So it’s just like my ex-girlfriends.
He’s a murderous, binge drinking, STD-ridden second father to me
When young machines are growing up, only the emos dream of becoming alarm clocks
A rebellion without dysentery is a rebellion not worth having
Some people aren’t worth the effort
Drinking, forward women, and salvation in the form of the Baby Jesus. I was familiar with the first two.
In my family, the holiday traditions are slightly more colorful and significantly more traumatic
A serious piece on the occasion of loss
A complete log of my actions last night. It’s not impressive.
There’s only one proper way to answer this question: fantastical insanity.
Moving can lead to really exciting things. Nothing as exciting as make-up sex of course, but still, pretty exciting.
I once helped St. Nick out of a gambling debt – he owe’s me one.
Bruce Willis can do no wrong, but whoever put together the trailer for Armageddon can.
More boring than CSPAN, a better sleep aid than Zoloft, and may cause erectile dysfunction. Also, will be the end of the world.
I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but I know I don’t need their opinion.
“Why the hell would you name your website Whiskey and Ninja Turtles?”